Saturday, March 24, 2007

Again With the Dog!!!

Good evening again, everyone. Before I got rolling on all my NASCAR stuff, I thought I'd warm up by dashing off a quick one about George Noory's more recent dog food commercials. I haven't been listening closely or often enough recently to tell for sure whether he's taped a new batch of them for this week, or if he's written new commercials for himself to read on air live and then just ad-libs on the a little bit.


But a couple of the more recent ones have some new, dumb shit I hadn't heard before. For instance in a couple of the commercials from last night he brought up that he had recently found out that dogs had evolved from wolves. He acted incredulous as he informed the audience of this fact, the fact that our modern-day, domestic dogs had wolves as their ancestors, and he seemed to be on the up-and-up about not having known that before.

Despite his claim that he originally wanted to go into acting, Noory is a horrible actor Witness his attempts at playing at portraying the character of "future" radio broadcaster Dexter Monterey, or trying to do impressions of other actors who are really acting. Or even him trying to act convincing while reading the lame words provided for him by other advertisers and their products such as Tahiti Village and whatever it is he has his "bawdle" of. He's horrible.

But when he gasped at the fact that dogs evolved from wolves, he actually seemed sincerely surprised. And he's so fucking stupid and unaware of the world around him, that I have no problem at all believing he didn't know this. Well, almost "no problem". I mean, as fucking STOOOOOOOOOO-PID as he is, it really is amazing that that's something he's never so much as given a thought to. Being a self-proclaimed "dog lover" and all. Seein's how in the past Noory has claimed to know a lot about all manner of dog breeds, and a great lover of animals in general. And having thought so very highly of Steve Irwin, you'd think he might have picked up on the wolf/dog thing from watching one of Irwin's hundreds of television programs.

(At this point I'm taking time to laugh out loud, because of any of you ever heard Noory's original interview with Irwin, it was blatently obvious that Noory had never heard of him, and was clutching desperately at straws to think of something -- anything to ask Irwin. He seemed like he had caught maybe 15 minutes of a Crocodile Stalker episode shortly before his interview -- only because someone on his staff gave it to him so he would be "prepared" for the "interview". Which was terribly, horribly painful to listen to, because I was just mortified and embarrassed for Irwin, who was trying his best to carry the interview by himself. He seemed like he realized early on that he was speaking to the one person on the planet (other than a handful of Bushmen) who had no idea who The Crocodile Stalker was.)

When he first took over the Coast to Coast, Noory tried desperately to connect with Art Bell's fans and be "part of the gang". So he claimed to love cats - just LOVED him some pussy(sic), and also claimed to have loved animals all his life. However whenever he spoke about animals it became clear he knew virtually nothing about them, and even though he had once owned a black lab, he never seemed like an animal person. I might add that in the last year or so Noory has made some off the cuff comments that imply that he doesn't really like cats much at all. The other night he told his listeners that if they had a cat who was "listening" to the radio while he was on, and had the audacity to be sleeping through his who, that their owner should " kick the cat off of the bed and on the the floor!". He then gave a rather vicious laugh which I found very disturbing. He really seemed to be deriving pleasure from the thought of a cat being hurt. And is his recent wont, he then added, "Kidding! I'm kidding!", but even then his tone was very insincere. He's a sick fuck.

Noory's personality is not that of an animal lover. People who love animals - truly love animals-- tend to be on the selfless and compassionate side. They also tend to have great senses of humor and loving dispositions prone to uncontrollable displays of public affection for anything that touches their hearts. They also tend to be behaviorists, and have a natural proclivity for studying and paying attention to people, animals, plants and things around them in order to better understand them. And they have a natural empathy for all living things.

In other words, the antithesis of the outrageously Egotistical George Noory. Unless it's about Him, a person or animal would be hard pressed to be able to keep his attention for any length of time. In many ways Noory is like an
  • Asperger Kid
  • . Some of Noory's fans may poo-poo my allegations by reminding us that he's really into his family and his kids, and he's such a great dad and granddaddy that he insists on spending several months of the year broadcasting from the city of St. Louis, in order to spend more time with his family who lives there.

    Look. The ONLY reason he's so into his kids is because they are HIS kids. Meaning that they contain HIS almighty DNA, and are things that HE made and produced. They are just other version of HIMSELF , the only person in the world who he's really, truly enamored of or interested in.

    You're now thinking to yourself, "Jesus Christ, Dixie!! are you EVER going to get to the point??".

    Ooops. Yeah, sorry. So Noory was amazed that dogs evolved from wolves. He then added, before going into the actual commercial, that, "My dog Casey is not a wolf. She's a Golden Retriever. And a darned neat one, too."

    "Neat." That's great. Spoken like a true dog lover. "Darned neat." It struck me he was like a cross between Wally Cleaver and Jeffrey Daumer. And for those of you who still insist he's full of love, life and compassion, and I'm wrong about why he's so into his family? Well, where is that compassion when he leaves that "neat little dog" all alone in St. Louis for the other 8 months a year? What the fuck is that?

    The ONLY reason he EVER got interested in dogs at all - at least enough so to where he'd actually choose to be around them in a peripheral fashion- was when Purina One became a sponsor, and he felt the need to "seem credible" to the people he was pitching the product too. Well, one thing led to another, as he claimed to acquire one dog after the next, each time implying (at first, at least), that they were his animals, only to reveal later that he either gave them away, or had bought them for someone else, or what have you. Each one was nothing more than a prop to him. These dogs are all fucking props. Tools. Means to an end. And eventually, after having revealed he wasn't really a dog owner, time after time after time, he FINALLY had to break down and get a legitimate dog of his own - to seem credible.

    Meanwhile this poor animal goes for months at a time without seeing it's owner. Frankly, I'd feel more sorry for anybody or any animals who actually HAD to spend a lot of time with Noory, but that's beside the point. All pets, and dogs in particular, need a great deal of interaction with their humans in order to stay psychologically fit. Noory is ruining this poor dog's life just so he can sell a couple more bags of fucking dog food.

    He ought to be shot. Fucking prick. We all ought to write letters to Purina and tell them we don't appreciate their company for allowing one of their representatives to knowingly abuse an animal in order to sell their dog food. George Noory doesn't have enough empathy to keep a fucking gold fish mentally healthy.

    So there's you "quick one". Shit, man. Do I go on or what????? . I am so, so sorry for harping on this dog thing so much, but being a genuine animal lover, it really drives me insane. Just up the damn wall.

    Since most of the commercials Noory does don't show up on the Streamlink playbacks (except for his stupid fucking book), we can't go back & fact check all the lies and fabrications he's come up with on all the dog business, not to mention other ad campaigns It's a tad late now, but still not too late to start taping them on a cassette, I suppose. I dunno if it's worth the effort, But if any of y'all happen to hear a good 'ern, do Dix a favor & jot it down to share with the rest of us in the comments sections, wouldja? Thanks, all!
  • 14 Comments:

    Anonymous Agent K said...

    Yep, George found out last week that dog's are descendants of wolves. I haven't laughed so hard since the night he found out that twins could actually be of different sexes. You know that whole fraternal, identical thing. Priceless.

    11:20 PM  
    Anonymous TexasSteel said...

    Actually, George thought identical twins could be a boy and a girl. hahahaha What an idiot.
    I was going to write about some things the idiot said the last few days but he spewed out too many for me to remember. haha

    11:28 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    O.K. here is a Noory comment that even had me staring into space with mouth open and stunned.It was about 2002 and he had a Hydrogen power guy on . OK this needs a little set up . This guy spends practically 1 1/2 hours arguing that hydrogen it the perfect REPLACEMENT for Gasoline . I mean every word out of his mouth is about how Hydrogen is better then gas , Hydrogen is cleaner then Gas .O.K. you get the point right? Well NOORY DIDN'T!!!!!!!!! It was like he didn't even listen to the last 2 hours when he spat out this question and I quote.
    "Can Hydrogen be combined with other fuels like Gasoline to make it more efficient?"

    DEAD SILENCE the guest was as stunned as us all hahahhahahahahhahahahahahhah Noory sucks that sock puppet !

    4:01 AM  
    Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

    Noory sucks the stiff, sad little sock puppet that UFO Phil wanks of into every goddam night.

    4:08 AM  
    Anonymous Agent K said...

    texassteel< I'm glad you clarified the twin comment, thanks.

    Anyone else notice that George likes to belittle Tommy? Last week George (in St. Louis) said Tommy called him from a restaurant (in LA) and said a waitress sneezed in/on/or near his salad and he needed to know from George what to do. Are these two grown men?

    At other times George has Tommy knocking over chairs in restaurants to get to some celebrity has been. Sounds like these two should stay out of restaurants. (and off the air waves)

    12:13 AM  
    Anonymous TexasSteel said...

    George must get on his hands and knees and thank the Good Lord that a dumb bastard like him can be so lucky to be handed a hit show.
    Every night I am amazed that a grown man can NOT know the things he does not know.
    I know his pea sized brain must leave his skull because he will ask a guest a simple question the guest has talked about and answered for two hours. It just boggles the mind.

    12:38 PM  
    Anonymous Agent K said...

    Haha, ole slippery spitty lips just said "the prefasees of Fr. Andrew Wingate". This is what we get for a guy who "prepares" for the show for what 6/7/8 hours a day? Hahahah

    1:19 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I believe iq is the issue here. I would estimate noorys iq score between that of a chimp and a mongoloid. Add to this his inability to recognize his incompetence and to inflate his own perception of himself which strongly suggests delusional behavior. So basically we are dealing with a delusional retard here. I pray to god every night that he will be fired.

    4:22 AM  
    Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

    Lord I love you people. Thanks for all the great comments, and for sharing the love and laughter. And bemusement. Anonymous, in a few concise sentences you have summed up what I've wasted hundreds of annoying paragraphs trying to say. Bravo!!

    A delusional retard is a good assessment, and I know a couple of psychologists who would likely concur in exactly that terminology. My best friend's sister is very slightly retarded and also has psychological problems, and Noory's behavior is very, very much like hers.

    Amazingly, both of them do possess a sort of sauvant genius for being able to manipulate people. Ironically, the same family also carries an Asperger gene as well.

    But here I go on and on again, when no more needs be said. Well done, Anonymous.

    "A delusional retard" it is!

    11:54 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I guess I'm not alone. The show has gone so far downhill since Noory took over. One thing that hans't yet been mentioned is the decline in the quality of the guests.

    Sometimes Art Bell's guests were goofballs, but it was all either for a laugh, or someone who just looked at things from a strange angle. Noory's guests are actually insane, and Noory just sits there asking one inane question after another of some guest who claims to have created the pyramids in his bathtub and used time travel to place them in Egypt while nobody was watching. Sometimes I wonder if the guest has phoned in from the loony bin.

    Noory defends the paltry offerings by saying it "makes people think". The only think it makes me "think" about is how great the show once was. I check back every six weeks or so, hoping that maybe there will be some flicker of intelligence, but it never comes.

    The show is so bad it doesn't even inspire that trian-wreck curiosity that can keep someone listening to see how bad it can be. It is beyond that. It is simply painful to listen to it.

    Last night lizard man was on. Some shape-shifter that can "travel to any point in the universe by vibrating at the frequency of the point at the target location." I'll try again in six weeks.

    2:49 PM  
    Anonymous Avron said...

    I have finally found my friends! I *knew* there had to be a LOT of us out here, but until now I have only written George, Art, Ian and management themselves; of course all in vain.
    Everything you guys are saying is the absolute gospel. My big problem with the now *completely ruined show* is more than just the fact that it's now ruined. ...I have a big problem with people who are in a position to affect so many people's lives in a positive way, whom instead choose to use it for the most idiotic, self-indulgant and FAKE bullshit...and I believe I also have now good evidence of outright FRAUD...I don't even know how to end that sentence. Ohhhhh Noory BURNS me UP!! The sTuPidItY just pops out of him like so many goofy PIMPLES or something...UUHH!!!
    GET THIS: (I hope you guys heard this one, I nearly died laughing at asshole lol): One night a couple of months ago, Noory was talking to who was an actually decent guest; this guy was a real scientist. It was nice listening to him when Noory wasn't asking irrelevant stupid questions about "shadow people" when the subject was Deep Space. But this next comment went beyond all expectations of complete doltic-moronism; Noory said to a real scientist (something to the effect of): "...since electromagnetism is part of the PARANORMAL"...I nearly threw up. The guest assured George that electrmagnetism was used everywhere all the time...not sure if he got it even *then* lmao...
    I wrote George and asked him "Do you really want to go around so uneducated, the rest of your life, that you think that the main tool of your own choosen profession, the microphone; uses the "paranormal" to operate? You are so uninformed that you don't even know that the very force your own equipment operates by is something any third-grader can tell you right off is electromagnetism?
    Yep, you got me; at first I sincerely tried to get Noory to try and educate himself a bit; I was that embarrassed for him. That was, like you all say, HARD to listen to (without bashing myself in the head with a wine bottle on it's way to the cathode ray tube lol)...but of course ole George wasn't biting. In fact, he did actually answer a couple of times. Guess what this truly successful, articulate radio personality said to me? Well...first off all he did was prove he can't type, *at all*, when he told me this, written exactly as it came in my inbox: "get hel p now". Not one single answer to any logical, sincere and diplomatic question. (I was honestly being nice, really wanting to help him) Not one single attempt at engaging in a dialouge when confronted with honest inquiry about his reasons for why the show goes the way it does. Everything I wrote to this idiot was a complete waste of time...for the most part anyway; at least I tried.
    You know what gets me about his reply? I swear to God I get the impression that this guy is so self-absorbed and delusional that he actually thinks that an answer from him *at all* is that the "star" of the program has now been in touch with you, making you a more special person. After all, he does mention now and then something about replying to emails and how he "trys to get to them all"...maybe I'm wrong about this one, but I swear I might just be right. George replied to me; wow. I'm an inside guy now. Oh yeah and he was dedicated to getting me help for my obvious problem too., what a great guy George is...LMAO...hahahaa
    Sorry for such a long winded introduction, but it' like George Carlin said: "Well it pisses me off Godammit!!!" LOL!!! George Noory RUINED C2C and on a more serious note: if it's OK with these people to spread ignorance and superstition under the premise of freedom of speech, WE ALL should LOBBY CONGRESS (ok, well, lobby SOMEONE!! lol) to make it ILLEGAL to SCREEN CALLS.
    Think about this: These fuckers KNOW that up to 90% of their listening audience have an IQ below 120, and the VAST majority are much lower than that (this is well known by us all of course; such is the very nature of IQ) so they can say just about anything they want and not too many people can really challenge intellectually what is being said. What about the irrate fuckers out there LIKE US who are dying to set this shit right? THEY SCREEN US OUT! The implications are obvious; but what can we do?
    It's my opinion that by screening calls, we are being denied our right to freedom of speech. Think about it: If they only allow people who are either too ignorant or superstitious to talk on air, then they never have to worry about actually engaging in ANY honest debate AT ALL. They can spread their disease of ignorance all they want with complete impunity.
    If they HAD to allow all calls on a first-come, first-serve basis, the honesty level of the show would climb instantly; the IQ, integrity, and all other positive levels would climb as well. They could no longer get away with allowing the likes of such an uneducated buffoon like Noory to host the show because he would have to answer to the REAL listeners *every night*!! He would probably quit on his own.
    Now of course I'm realistic enough to know that "going to congress" is bullshit, but I just feel like *something* could be done. Maybe with management; I don't know. OK, this has been long...but REALLY; NICEEEEEEEEEE meeting you all!!!
    -Avron in Park City, KS. (Yes, home of BTK, yes I met him, yes he's a CHUMP I'm glad he's in jail).

    7:07 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Noory needs to go on a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong vacation!!!!!!!!!!1

    12:18 AM  
    Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

    Preferably one involving a long walk, a short pier, and cement shoes.

    2:54 AM  
    Blogger Julian said...

    buy viagra

    viagra online

    generic viagra

    6:57 PM  

    Post a Comment

    Links to this post:

    Create a Link

    << Home