Friday, March 02, 2007

God He's Gross... a Random Rant while Listening to The Everlasting Gob-Smacker

Every fucking guest he has on. It's the fucking movies. Tonight's guest, who has this talking to the dead machine that he feels may some day be able to be used in court to summon the spirit of the deceased - say a murder victim - to testify against their murderers in court.

First thing Noory says is, "Can you imagine them making a movie out of this?? I can!!" Now he's running through the whole movie plot out loud on the air, "I see a Hollywood movie out of this!!"

Jesus Christ he is about a tacky piece of shit, isn't he? He gets these incredibly interesting guests on the air who do the seemingly impossible IN REAL LIFE, and all Noory can do is put it into the context of a movie, slurping away like a rabid fucking dog, salivating over the prospect of "the money to be made" - as I'm sure he imagines himself the producer and star of these ideas.

Everything is a movie to him - or a t.v. show - when a guest comes on, Noory has to relate their subject to a t.v. show or movie he's already seen, or do this new "thing" of his, coming up with great screenplay ideas on the air. While ignoring his guest, who is actually doing things in the real, physical world.

Art warned about him going to Hollywood. I don't really think Hollywood changed Noory, I think he was always a shallow, opportunistic bottom feeder with a low IQ -and therefor perfectly suited to Hollywood. I fucking hate him, I really do. He just gets worse and worse by the day. More detached, more living in his own little ego-centric world.

What in the hell is wrong with him that he can't relate to the real world on any level? From the beginning it's been him equating any given guest's topic to a Twilight Zone episode, maybe an occassional Star Trek - and then for a time, the ubiquitous (and horrible) Eyes Wide Shut, whose sketchy theme was about sexual obsession, but somehow Noory thought it related to damn near every topid he discussed on Coast to Coast.

And now, in the last year, he's constantly trying to make movies while he's on the air, while ignoring his guests. When he's not busy engaging his guests into helping him plot and plan out the logistics of future shows that may or may not include them.

That's right, he'll just stand there in front of his microphone, thinking aloud about what kind of shows he can plan for the future.

And lord help us if he sees a movie star in a restaurant - how embarrassing is it to listen to him go on and on about how he and / or Tommy sees somebody when they've gone out to eat - which, by the way, I think they do for every single meal for no other reason that they're HOPING they'll spot some movie stars. Their latest victim is Patrick Swayze. Poor guy - I never thought I'd feel sorry for him, but I sure do.

Noory can't shut up about how they've asked him to be on Coast to discuss the 17 year old movie which Noory uses as a reference point for all things paranormal. Jesus Christ, if I had a nickel for every time he brought up the movie Ghost , I'd be stinkin' rich. I suppose if you wanted to make excuses for Noory, piece of shit that he is, you could justify his constant referrals to movie and television by saying that he has to resort to that since he has no personal experience with it whatsoever, and is also incapable of reading a book about anything, so.... it's all he's got.

He must have had some kind of fucked up, sheltered, miserable childhood to become the guy he is. He has zero social skills and seems to dwell in some kind of fantasy world of his own creation. I'd like to feel sorry for him, but he's such a schill, a schyster, and a creep that I cannot.

He's horrible. Just horrible.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Agent K said...

Miss Dixie, All I can say is WOW! That was perfect.
The movie, movie star, tv show references have been driving me crazy too. Thanks Dixie, nobody says it better than you. I love it when your pissed at 3 o'clock in the morning.

10:17 PM  

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