Saturday, March 03, 2007

Coast to Coast Drinking Game

Well this should be fun for those of you who drink, or need an excuse to. Tonights "ohmpen lines" topic is "encounters with the Grim Reaper".

So far Noory has said, "Grim Reaker" twice without correcting himself. I guess that's to make up for his Laser Shield commercial that's been running uncorrected for months now where he says "reap havoc". Lord he's simple.

So if any of you want to, take a drink every time Noory says "reaker" instead of "reaper". You should be loaded for bear in a couple of hours. Noory also said, when describing the archetypal "Grim Reaper" figure that he carries "a sickle looking thing".

Yes he does, George. That would be a sickle.

Agent K. privately pointed out a couple of things worth noting & I thought I'd share.

On last night's show, guest Christopher Moon was talking about actually being choked and physically attacked by a ghost- the story was shaping up in grand fashion, and then Noory interrupted Moon - as he did many times throughout the show- to recite the words to the Lizzie Borden song, which he was obviously reading, and he seemed unfamiliar with it and the whole Lizzie Borden saga. So Dipshit was doing what he always does, Googling away as his guest speaks, trying to figure out what they're talking about. Totally derailed a good and important story because he's a jackass and paying no attention. He has the mentality of an 8 year old boy.

Also K. noted that when Ian Punnett phoned in tonight, Noory had him "use up" all of his "promo time" by sidetracking him with giving him (Ian) a hard time about Red Elk, then wouldn't allow Ian an extra minute or two to plug his show. Which I don't need to remind you is also a Coast show, so they should allow Ian as much time as he wants.

When Ian charmingly made a ploy for Noory to cut him some slack because it is his birthday, he was met with silence.

As Agent K pointed out, apparently nobody had written down an appropriate response to such a statement, like, say, Happy Birthday, Ian!! .

Noory is truly an self-centered ass of the highest order.

post script: Noory mentioned that there were about 1300 people in attendance at the little show they had in Houston tonight. You know the one - the Sean Hannity "Hannitization of America" rally, featuring Sean Hannity? Of course, Noory didn't mention Hannity, he led the audience to believe it was all for him.

He can't even get his 10 million "fans" to buy his book for $16.00 a pop - why in the world would he think any of these people would pay between $20.00 and $45.00 for a ticket to see him "ohmpen up" for Sean Hannity?


Anonymous Ed Norton said...

It's too bad we can't switch replace Noory with Ian. There are some things about Ian which worked against him around the time they were choosing Art's replacement. At the time, he still wasn't quite comfortable in dealing with "the wierd," but since then he has gotten much more in tune with the show, and manages to deal with it with the same kind of intelligent curiousity that Art does. Ian was also a seminary student at the time, and apparently he couldn't help but let that part of his life carry over into whatever topic was being addressed to the point of overkill. I'd liken it to the time I chose to "do-it-myself" a brick walk, and for months after started noticing bricklaying whereever I went. It couldn't help but spill into my consciousness. Ian was giving us way too much of what was engaging his own thoughts at that time to the point of boring us, and I think it made him seem a more narrowly focused choice for Art's replacement. If only they had waited a little longer to permanently annoint someone. Now Ian's experience in Seminary has found the right balance on the show, injecting itself in the right moments as a nice resource of knowledge rather than overwhelming his direction of the show.

The only other thing about Ian that has annoyed me is his propensity to give his name before every lead into a commercial. He has toned this down, too. I guess what I'd like to tell him is, you got the job, Ian. We know who you are. Quit worrying that someone out there won't. Leave that kind of worrying to Barbara Simpson.

That said, I would love to see Ian switch places with Noory. That would give us a far more engaging host during the week, and we would still have plenty of inadvertant comedy on the weekend.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You obviously was shunned by Noory when you asked him for a date.What an unhappy person you must be.

5:52 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

C'mon, Anonymous, you can do better than that, can't you?

I can't respond if that's the best you can dish out, that's just sad. That'd be like kicking a crippled, retarded puppy.

3:11 AM  
Anonymous TexasSteel said...


Did you hear idiot Snoory say the other night that he can type 60 words a minute with two fingers? I'm telling you there is no way the idiot can do that. He later said he make a few mistakes but otherwise he can do it. NOT When I took typing in high school years ago for the first time, we could make no mistakes and each mistake took off 10 words a minute from our final score. Some, typing teachers give you one or two mistakes for a typing test, but even with that the dumb shit would have to type one word a second with two fingers and there is NO WAY this dumb bastard can do that.


3:41 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

That fucking jackass can't even THINK 60 words a minute - coherent or not - there's no goddam way he can type 60.

Witness his typed responses on the Coast Chats. It takes him for-fucking-ever just to type out a three or four word response.

God he's a stupid cunt. And a pahtological liar.

I feel sorry for his kids. If I was his kid, I'd fuckin' change my name and relocate to another country.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Grow up duche bags. You people are pathetic. Low life trailer trash with no life

6:22 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

That's "douche", Douche.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on Dixie...comparing his mentality to that of an eight year old? That is out of line. I have never met an eight year old that was as stupid as noory. I think that is an insult to all 8 year olds. I think he is more like the Ricky Gervais character on The Office....only not funny....just insensitive,tactless,moronic etc

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

y'know, i love the show for content, but icannot stand that dumbass noory. from the stupid questions to the constant interruptions to change the subjectjust when the guest is about to pay off on his point, to asking questions that dont even have to do with the subject matter, to talking about how "good a person he is, to what city he's in or going to be in, to sometimes actually sound tipsy, i cant take it anymore. i think we ought to start a movement to get him canned and get somebody who's at least been to interview class

4:06 AM  
Blogger ihateyoupetersmythe said...

I just googled Coast to Coast drinking game and this was the first thing that came up. To be honest, my Coast to Coast Drinking game involves downing a shot every time Noory says "wow" in response to a caller's dumbass story. Boring yes, but always 100% guaranteed to leave me very drunk and content.

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm....let's see: You "was" shunned...nice grammar...spelling douche wrong...nice spelling. Wonder if anonymous is G-Man? :

3:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

obviously not ALL the anonymous posts, just the ones defending G-Man

3:47 AM  

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