Wednesday, February 07, 2007

George Noory, a Man of Few Words

Last night's grab bag show with guests Dick Sutphen, Lon Milo DuQuette and medical researcher Christian Wilde was so chock-a-block with stupid shit, and George Noory screwing up in every possible way he's able to, that it would take me days to break it all down for you. I could write a fuckin' book on last night's show. Not to worry, though, I won't go all James Joyce on your asses right now. Ulysses. wasn't made in a day. heh.

As we all know by now, George Noory is infamous for having the vocabulary of an average 9 year old boy combined with a tendancy to mispronounce about every third word, not to mention butcher the most common popular turns of phrase. He has been criticized for it enough that he's now coping by making fun of his own mistakes when someone points them out to him, but he's rarely able to detect these mistakes on his own. I used to wonder if it was dyslexia, and that may still be a partial explanation, but more and more lately I tend to believe the man has a slight (?) learning disorder.

He just doesn't "get" certain things that he should really fully comprehend by now. For instance, in the first half-hour of the show Noory was discussing karma with past-life-regressionist, Dick Sutphen. Now, one would think that a man who has always been fascinated with past lives and hypnotherapy (even though he pronounced the word "therapist" as "thera-PIST" - emphasis on the 'pist'....), and a man who has been doing shows on metaphysical topics for more than five years, many of them based on past lives and karma, and a man wrote a fucking book which mentions karma repeatedly would know what karma is, wouldn't you? Well. Wouldn't you?

I've heard him discuss it with people before and he usually seemed to understand the basic premise of karma, but last night for some reason he was confusing karma with charisma - or that's our best guess. He was confusing karma with something else, for sure.

"I have a friend of mine," Noory said, " who has incredible karma! I mean, you can tell when she goes into a room she just lights up the place! ...When. She decides. To turn it on. If she doesn't --and she's gone through a real rough time lately, ah.. the karma has dulled. But I see it coming back now in a big way. Wwwwhat allows somebody to do that? I always thought karma was just there."

The past life expert deftly crafted an explanation that spun George's confusion of charisma and karma into a situation that made sense and actually *did* (rather loosely) pertain to actual karma, but the fact remains that Noory didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

Like I said, Noory has seemed to have somewhat of a grasp on it in the past, though, so how he got confused at this stage of the game, I don't know. Although... it's been a few months since I've read his book "Worker in the Light", which is at best a hodge podge of half-baked New Age concepts that Noory has a tenuous, at best, grasp on, and I do seem to recall that he abused karma in his book a few times, too. I imagine in the end it's just another one of a multitude of subjects that he knows just enough about to bullshit his way through.

After Noory's comment Cecil came into the office scratching his head and said, "I swear George's sense of karma is more simplistic than most fortune cookie's."


We also got another instant classic Nooryism last night after he screwed up a commercial he was doing for his book. Most regular listeners to Coast to Coast know that Noory isn't worth a fart in the last hour. He gets sloppy and his voice drags, he is brusque with the callers, rushing them through the queue and hanging up on them before they can finish their thoughts and sometimes he gets downright testy with them and the guests. So ol' GN is riffing on a commercial for his book and says, "We're in the final stages of getting rid of the last copies of the first printing-"
at this point Dip Shit realizes what he's saying and says in a self-chastising growl, "Well, I shouldn't say it like that...", then continues,
of "Worker in the Light", um, we've gone through a lot of them.... has some at a substantial discount and they're at your favorite bookstores around the country. So if you're inclined, pick it up and then, ah...send me an email and we'll send ya a signed sticker - a little autograph you could just uhhh afflix to the inside cover."

Apparently sometime during the rest of the commercial break somebody informed Noory he said "afflix", so when back on with the guest Christian Wilde, he jokes and says,

"Hey Christian, I think I just invented my own word. I think I just said afflix instead of affix on my signature!! I think I'd make a fortune if I put out my own encyclopedia of my own words!!!."

Good grief. I wonder if anyone pointed that one out to him later....

And that's just another one of thousands he's said over the years. I just can't wrap my head around how clueless and stupid he is. How in God's name did this man get through four frickin' years of college??!!?? With a degree in a communications field, yet? His reading and writing skills are poor. Doesn't listen well. Never learned to type, either. Something tells me the little gal who he got knocked up and was married to throughout his college career helped him squeak through a lot of his classes. I don't see how he could have done it on his own.

Duly noted is Agent K's comment left on my last entry about Noory hanging up on callers at inopportune times. That was an astute observation that I intend to explore further, and thanks for bringing it up, Agent K. It's quite possible that nice lady will suffer an untimely death thanks to Noory's inattentive rudeness. Whadda self-absorbed prick.


Blogger Walking Shadow said...

Ulysses, however, took place on a single day, 16 June 1904, "Bloomsday." Just to be pedantic about it.

2:11 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Bless your heart.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous TexasSteel said...

Dixie, are you sure George has a degree in communications? Anyway, I see tonight (Thursday 2-8-07) we are having another show on end-times. This makes several shows on the end of the world in the last week or two it seems. This idiot George has a fascination on the end of the world. And, as I always point out, the Mayans as a civilization have not been with us for hundreds of years. Why would they make a calendar for the end of the world when they are not going to be here to give a shit either way?


7:49 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Howdy TS - nice to see you, as always. No, I'm not sure GN has a communications degree. He has said that he got a degree in broadcasting, but we don't even know *that* for sure, do we? Nor do we know about those Emmys that seem to have dwindled in number since he started bragging on them....

Wouldn't it be fun to go into GN's high school & college reports & see what his grades were like?

As for the end of the world - I'm with ya, Biscuit. It seems to be the only thing the man thinks about - and it's like he WANTS it to happen. I believe somewhere in my notes I logged that he actually slipped up one night & said something to that effect. What he really wants is to be on the air when it happens, thus (in his tiny mind) solidifying his place in Radio History as being "The Guy Who Emceed the End of the World!!".

Of course, as Cecil pointed out, what Idiot Bucket doesn't consider is, that in all likelihood nobody's gonna be around to talk about this dubious (or should I say, "Dubai-ous"? ) achievement later.

Ian Punnett has mentioned more than once on his show that he has no patience for these "End of the World" types, and it's his opinion they are misguided, sick tickets who actually want it to happen.

He was fairly disdainful about those types, which I find interesting, since he frequently defends George when the subject of Noory comes up, either with callers or via email.

Punnett tries to give us the impression that he truly believes George is a great host and that he doesn't approve of people criticizing Noory - especially in the vicious fashion that I do - yet Noory is one of those End of the Worlders that Punnet disdains.

I know Punnett doesn't have time to keep track of all of Noory's innumerable inadequacies, but surely he has to know of Noory's fascination with Armegeddon. I often wonder what Ian would think of Noory if he was as aware of ALL of Noory's unnattractive qualities as the rest of us are.

Particularly the lying. I don't see how Ian could even pretend to have any respect for someone who just flat out tells lies... then pretends to be a nice guy.

Heh. Nice point about the Mayan calendar. Maybe it was a practical joke. If so, that's a good one, ya have to admit!

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(smooch) Hey Dixie Darlin! thought I'd say, "hey!"


12:02 PM  
Blogger Walking Shadow said...

I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but it is very interesting about the Mayan calendar, and why everybody seems to be so concerned about it. There’s a good article about the Mayans by Frank Joseph in the latest issue of Atlantis Rising magazine, in which he points out that the Mayan calendar—for their civilization, or for the particular age of Earth in which we and they find ourselves—begins precisely on 12 August 3113 BC, and ends on 21 December 2012 AD.

That gives us exactly 5125 years, 4 months, and 9 days. The Mayans, we are told, measured everything by the true celestial Great Year that corresponds to one full turn through the precession of the equinoxes, or about 25,765 years or so.

The period given by the Mayan calendar amounts to just about a fifth of that, but not precisely so, and we are repeatedly told that the Mayans were very precise, accurate folks when it came to mathematics and astronomy. So what’s up with the discrepancy? And why a fifth, or 72 degrees of the circle, a quincunx? Usually the magic numbers tend to come in threes or fours or sixes or twelves.

And another thing: the world as we know it did not begin in precisely 3113 BC, although I’m sure some swell things happened that year. That date doesn’t match up with the 4004 BC date or whatever it is that Bishop Ussher calculated for the beginning of the world back in the 18th century; or with the dating of the Jewish calendar; or the building of the Pyramids at Gizeh (no matter whether you like Zahi Hawass’s calculations or John Anthony West’s); or much of anything.

Things were happening long, long before that date, and I’m betting things will be happening on 22 December 2012 and for years to come. We may or may not like those things, but they will come to pass, and probably will be covered by CNN and Fox News. And people will still be listening to rock’n’roll.

4:36 PM  
Anonymous Shirleypal said...

All I can Dixie Girl is if stupid were a law Noory would get 20 years.

5:02 PM  
Blogger NascarFan24 said...

Dixie, your comments are so therapeutic to those of us who suffer through coast to coast with gn every evening. Bless you for doing what you do.

1:17 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Bless your heart ! (even if you are a Gordon fan! L! - just kiddin', the Wonder Boy has grown on me over the years and I rather like him now! ) Thank you. Fortunately, I've been SO over him for SO long, I rarely even listen. And when I do, I'm running over the same old ground. Mebbe one day I'll pop up with some new snark, though. You & I must be the only NASCAR *and* C2C fans out there.

Just not fans M-F, right?! Hey, check out our Willard's Garage blog - my partner in crime has done some NASCAR work himself. Somewhere on the blog is a promo poster he painted for the Fall Phoenix race a couple years back.

Heh heh. Now I can sit back and wait for the barrage of hate mail from Noory fans who think all NASCAR fans are subhuman.

You'd think George would be a fan - after all, it's something he can bet on. ***laugh***

Big Dix - 14 Fan by way of Foyt!

2:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

George Noory is a vacuous yes man whose astounding ability to seem genuinely interested in the topics has earned him a megabuck deal with the gods of art bell.

3:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually I have no problem believing that Noory has a college degree. A while back on the canadian version of 'Shark Tank', a woman was pitching a teaching aid and claimed the statistic that "70% of adults are illiterate". Well one of the 'sharks', or 'dragons', in this version, took exception to the validity of that statistic, so I decided to Google it, and it turns out she did indeed get the statistic wrong, the actual statistic is that 70% of COLLEGE GRADUATES are illiterate! So the moral of the story is, if you don't want to be illiterate, don't go to college. I didn't, and look at me! I can make sentences!

7:08 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

George is a bad host. Art was the man. Art could take virtually any topic and make it interesting. George takes an interesting topic and makes it boring.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN ON COAST: After not listening to a guest speaking because he's reading his listeners' questions they want asked (because he knows they're far superior to his own)......Too long of a silence first, then... "Well, that's.....that's true" WHETHER IT MAKES SENSE OR NOT. IT'S A CRAPSHOOT HE GETS RIGHT ABOUT HALF THE TIME

5:50 PM  

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